since my miscarriage, i’ve been careful in what i eat and i’m bound by a mini confinement. i realised that compared to after i delivered LF where all the confinement food was delicious, this time around, i had no appetite and just didn’t enjoy the food as much. perhaps it’s the different circumstance i’m in or because during my confinement when i had LF, i was breastfeeding him so i felt hungry all the time and had better appetite. i can’t wait to get over this mini confinement of ginger, ginseng, red dates, and etc soon and i so wanna have my teh “c” ice. sigh….

i’m ecstatic! LF is able to say, “lyan fung” when asked, “what is your name?” it came as a surprise when one day i wrote his name down and read to him, “lyan fung”. and he followed after me. however, when i asked him to repeat, he couldn’t. so, i thought it was a one-time occurrence or i heard wrongly.

then, yesterday, i did the same again and he’s able to say, “lyan fung” - not so exact but close. and he did this at my parents’ house. so, everyone was happy and clapped; and told him that he’s a clever boy. and he was so proud that he kept repeating his name. when we went home, i asked him to say it again and he managed too. but, i didn’t clap and he looked at me and clapped his hands! he’s really such a wonder to be with….

you came as a surprise to us
and we were thrilled
but when we knew
that you were not meant to be
daddy told mummy
you are God’s gift
and mummy learned to cherish you
for however long you plan to stay
within mummy’s love and care.

gradually, mummy felt within
that i’m losing you
and mummy was so worried
and knowing there’s nothing i can do
but to cherish you for the moments left
and every night mummy prayed
that you’ll be able to stay
but God has other things in mind
He wanted you with him.

so, mummy has learned to say goodbye
to my precious child, cherish
i’ve named you so
so that you know that you were cherished
for the short moment that you were with us
and that daddy, mummy and brother loves you
take care wherever you are.

just a week or so ago, i posted that i’m pregnant. today, with a heavy heart, i have to break the news that i’ve just had my third failed pregnancy 2 days ago. i kind of saw this coming but was still hoping that i could carry the baby to term. i’m now recuperating at home from the natural miscarriage which occurred at home and i just wanna say goodbye to my little baby and that mummy loves you very much. be happy wherever you are….

i’ve been wanting to write a post on the cny 2010 but never had the time until now. even now, i have no time to upload all the photos here. so, you will have to just accept my apologies and best wishes for the new year: